SHARE

An Electronic Magazine by Omar Villarreal and Marina Kirac (c)

Year 2 Number 39 October 21st 2000

Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being SHARED.

________________________________________________________

Dear SHARERS,

Here we are again, exhausted but happy after the Congress in Necochea... and we have got very good reasons to be both exhausted and happy. The "exhausted" is

self-evident and we believe our SHARERS will SHARE the same feeling of happiness with us. We are happy at the results of the Congress ( 438 students and teachers !) and super happy to resume our weekly meeting with you.

Below you will find a letter that Susana Arévalo and Elsa Madueño

susanaarevalo@arnet.com.ar from San Miguel de Tucumán sent us. This and many similar messages we received during these two weeks of silence while we were busy working for the Congress and our own strong wish to SHARE is what keeps this electronic magazine alive. Thank YOU, dear SHARERS !

"We would like to thank you for encouraging us to begin and go on with the hard task of teaching, there are lots of things to learn from in your SHARES and lots of things that make "very dear" SHARERS.

Thanks to both you and Marina for the importance you give to the teachers throughout your messages, and please , don't give up doing this : through SHARE we feel protected and connected to the world of English in our country.

Best wishes

Susana Arévalo and Elsa Madueño

In SHARE 39

1.- Truth in Politics.

2.- Congreso de Didácticas Específicas.

3.- Oh, The Good Old 90´s !

4.- New Translators Association.

5.- What does success depend on ?

6.- St.George´s Conference.

7.- Prescriptions for Happiness.

8.- Omar Villarreal in Azul

9.- A question of perception.

10.-New ARTESOL Committee.

11- Your Mother Should Know.

12- News from Interaction Studio.

13.-Open up your heart to install.

14.-Lista de Interés : Educación de Adultos.

15- An Honour for "SHARE".

16.-Two Pep Up Messages.

17- Tongue in Cheek.

18- Bernieh´s Corner .

(1) TRUTH IN POLITICS

In these times of political turnmoil a dear SHARER from Santa Cruz, Juan Alberto Marini, send us this funny story about political campaign promises :

"It was election time and a politician decided to go out to the local reservation
and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council
Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the
crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!"
The crowd went wild, shouting "Hoya! Hoya!" The politician was a bit puzzled
by the native word, but was encouraged by their enthusiasm. "I promise gambling
reforms to allow a Casino on the Reservation!"
"Hoya! Hoya!" cried the crowd, stomping their feet.
"I promise more social reforms and job opportunities for Native
Americans!" The crowd reached a frenzied pitch shouting "Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!"
After the speech, the Politician was touring the Reservation, and saw a tremendous herd of cattle. Since he was raised on a ranch, and knew a bit about cattle, he asked the Chief if he could get closer to take a look at the cattle.
"Sure," the Chief said, "but be careful not to step in the hoya."

(2) CONGRESO DE DIDACTICAS ESPECIFICAS

Los dias 1, 2 y 3 de febrero de 2001 se llevara a cabo en Granada, España, el Congreso Nacional "Las didacticas de las areas curriculares en el siglo XXI", organizado por la Facultad de Ciencias de la Educacion de la Universidad de Granada. Informes: congresodidacticasespecia@wanadoo.es

(3) OH, THE DEAR OLD 90´S !

A dear SHARER , Cecilia Vazquez Domecq from Laboratorio de Idiomas Adrogué writes to us :
Dear Omar,
Thank you for all your SHARES. I just wanted to SHARE these " 25 signs
that you´ve had too much of the 90´s "

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
3. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
4. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
5. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
6. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if it contains Echinacea.
7. You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
8. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox asking you to send her a JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
9. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home.
10. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom of the screen.
11. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells for half the price you paid.
12. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make a purchase is foreign to you.
13. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
14. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
15. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
16. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
17. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
18. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.
19. You get an extra phone line so you can get phone calls.
20. You turn off your Modem and get this awful feeling, as if you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
21. You get up in morning and go online before getting your coffee.
22. You wake up at 2am to go to the bathroom and check your E-mail on your way back to bed.
23. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :)
24. You're reading this.
25. Even worse; you're going to forward it to someone else.

(4) NEW TRANSLATORS ASSOCIATION

Tenemos el agrado de compartir con todos los lectores de SHARE un acontecimiento muy importante para nuestra provincia : la presentación de la Asociación de Traductores e Intérpretes de Entre Ríos (ATRADIER).

ATRADIER es una asociación sin fines de lucro que nuclea a los Profesionales de la Traducción e Interpretación de Idiomas de nuestra provincia cuyo fin es dar difusión a la profesión, acompañar participativamente el proceso de desarrollo socio-económico de la provincia en cuanto a su inserción en el contexto de un mercado global e impulsar la interacción con comunidades de otras lenguas reafirmando nuestra propia identidad cultural.

El acto de presentación se llevó a cabo en la sede del Colegio de Abogados, de la ciudad de Paraná, el jueves 28 del Septiembre pmo.pdo.

Agradecemos poder compatir con los shareres este momento de singular trascendencia para nuestra Asociación.

Atentamente

Betiana Grillone betgri@infovia.com.ar

(5) WHAT DOES SUCCESS DEPEND ON ?

Our dear SHARER Maureen O´Keefe sends us this reflection about success :

Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between you and what you want to be is the support of others.

Look at it this way: an executive depends on people to carry out his instructions. If they don’t, the company will fire the executive, not the employees. Likewise a politician depends on voters to elect him.

There were times in history when a person could gain a position of authority through force and hold it with force or threats. In those days a man either cooperated with the leader or risked loosing his head. But today a person either supports you willingly or doesn’t support you at all.

But how can you get people’s willingness to support you? The answer wrapped up in one phrase is “ THINK RIGHT TOWARD PEOPLE”.

When a group of people has to consider names for a new post or a promotion, in 9 cases out of 10 the “LIKEABILITY” factor is given far more weight than the technical factor. “ I know he has a good academic and technical background, I don’t question his competence, but I am concerned about the acceptance he would receive" .

The above holds true even in selecting scholars for university professorships. Unfair? Unacademic? No. If the fellow isn’t likeable he can’t be expected to get through to his students with maximum effectiveness.

President Lyndon Johnson even developed a personal plan for thinking right toward people:

1- Learn to remember names.

2- Be a comfortable person so there is no strain in being with you.

BE AN OLD-SHOE kind of individual.

3- Guard against the impression that you KNOW-IT-ALL.

4- Cultivate the quality of being interesting.

5- Sincerely attempt to heal every misunderstanding that you have had.

6- Try to get the “SCRATCHY” elements out of your personality.

7- Never miss out on an opportunity to say a word of sincere congratulations upon anyone’s achievement, or express sympathy in sorrow or disappointment.

Re-read these rules: notice that there is no get-even philosophy. Thinking right towards people removes frustration and stress. When you BOIL IT ALL DOWN, the big cause of stress and failure is negative feelings toward other people.

Thank you Maureen for this "successful" contribution.

(6) ST.GEORGE´S CONFERENCE

Dr. David R. Cole, Head of English, St. George´s College North, Buenos Aires writes to us to invite all SHARERS to attend or give a paper at the conference organized by the Association of St. George´s, Buenos Aires and which will take place on a weekend in March or April of next year. The closing date for submission of abstracts is November the 25th. Additional information can be obtained visting this webpage : http://www.geocities.com/dracle99/

(7) PRESCRIPTION FOR HAPPINESS

A dear friend and SHARER writes to us :

Dear Marina, Omar & rest of SHARE team,

Thanks for last Sat issue containing such valuable and useful info. The following PRESCRIPTION may come in very handy when we're feeling down and looking for HAPPINESS. It is attributed to Robert Louis Stevenson and there's special recommendation to take it as often as needed 'cause it produces magic effects.

Also unlimited refills of the prescription are available at no cost and it should be shared with friends.

Love from your friend, Diana Englebert Moody.

It says:

"Make up your mind to be happy. Learn to find pleasure in simple things.

Make the best of your circumstances. No one has everything and everyone has something of sorrow intermingled with the gladness of life. The trick is to make

the laughter outweigh the tears. Don't take yourself too seriously. You can't please everybody; don't let criticism worry you. Don't let your neighbour set your standards. Do the things you enjoy doing, but stay out of debt. Don't borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder to bear than the actual ones. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish enmities and grudges. Don't hold post-mortems. Don't spend your life brooding over sorrows and mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself. Keep busy at something. A very busy person never has time to be unhappy."

(8) OMAR VILLARREAL IN AZUL

The Chair of English at Fctad de Agronomía de la Universidad Nacional del Centro de la Provincia de Buenos Aires announces a Course for Teachers of English within the University´s PICAP Programme (Programa Institucional de Capacitación y Actualización Profesional).

The course "Activities for all ages and all levels : how to select, create and adapt them " will be taught by Omar on Friday 27th and Saturday 28th October from 8:30 to 19:00 hours at Aula 8 Pabellón Licenciatura on Campus ,Avda Giraut sin número in Azul.

Highlights of the Course : Songs for Children. Grammar Games for young learners, Story-telling, Video Techniques for Language Practice, Teaching English

in Polimodal, Cross-Curricular Projects and a special session on "The New rock and Pop 2000".

The Course which will bear official recognition will be offered at a special

reduced price of $ 30 thanks to the auspices of Macmillan Heinemann ELT.

Enrolment is in progress at Facultad de Agronomía TE: 02281-433291/2/3. Further information from Sylvia Benson at sbenson@faa.unicen.edu.ar

(9) A QUESTION OF PERCEPTION

Our very dear friend and active SHARER, Amelia Otaiza from San Salvador de

Jujuy writes to us :

Dear friends:
I recieved this message from a friend and I want to share it with you.

"Perception"
A young man who had been raised as an atheist was training to be an Olympic diver. The only religious influence in his life came from his outspoken
religious friend. The young diver never really paid much attention to his friend's sermons, but he heard them often enough.
One night, the diver went to the indoor pool at the college he attended. The lights were all off, but as the pool had big skylights and the moon was bright,
there was plenty of light to practice by.
The young man climbed up to the highest diving board and as he turned his back to the pool on the edge of the board and extended his arms out, he saw his
shadow on the wall. The shadow of his body was in the shape of a cross.
Instead of diving, he knelt down and asked God to come into his life. As the young man stood, a maintenance man walked in and turned the lights on.
The pool had been drained for repairs.

(10) NEW ARTESOL COMMITTEE

Our dear friends and SHARERS past co-chairs of ESP Interest Section at ARTESOL Liliana and Patricia Orsi espisartesol@arnet.com.ar , send us this brief report on the ARTESOL Asamblea held last September 15th :

Asunto: ARTESOL: Asamblea 15/9/2000

* La reunión fue conducida por Mabel Chena, Presidente

* Se agradeció a personas e instituciones que hacen posible que ARGENTINA TESOL alcance sus metas.

Lectura de memoria al 31 de Dic de 1999.

* Se comentaron las actividades más destacadas de la Convención de ARTESOL llevada a cabo en el Palacio Pizzurno, 10 al 14 de Agosto de 1999 y Asamblea General del 13 de agosto de 1999.

* ARTESOL´s newsletter. Las dos revistas anuales fueron distribuidas entre los miembros de la asociación. Sugerimos a quienes no esten recibiendo la publicación regularmente, actualizen su dirección postal y/o membrecía ( Lidia Amor la@bcl.edu.ar ) .Recordamos que la asociación a ARTESOL tiene un costo de $ 15 anuales (incluye Newsletter y Convención).

* Planes para el año siguiente: Convención anual en el interior, apertura de areas de interés (our ESP IS is the only one so far), mejoramiento de la comunicación entre los miembros de ARTESOL, liason con otras instituciones y la implementación de mayores servicios.

En la Asamblea General Ordinaria de Socios del 15 de septiembre de 2000 quedó constituída la nueva Comisión Ejecutiva de ARTESOL.

Presidente Mabel Chena

Vicepresidente 1 Viviana Irene Morghen

Vicepresidente 2 Claudina LoValvo

Secretario Mabel Gallo

Tesorero Mercedes Auad

Vocales Titulares Clara Muñiz

Estela Gambelín de Gomez

Gabriela Alemani

Ana María Rocca

Liliana Orsi

Vocales Suplentes Elena Diez

Marta García Lorea

Adriana Calabrese

Rev de Cuentas Tit. Alicia Hughes

Horacio Ferrari

Graciela Cerutti

Rev de Cuentas Sup Carlos Pérez Bridoux

Patricia Orsi

For further information, please contact Liliana or Patricia or visit :

http://members.xoom.com/espisartesol

(11) YOUR MOTHER SHOULD KNOW

Our dear friend and SHARER , Rosemary Lagarrigue from Richmond Publishing, sends us this message to go "celebrating" mummies after their day :

Everything I ever needed to know I learned from Mother:

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of

Next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY: "Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST: "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a cyclone swept through your room."

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - don't exaggerate !!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father !"

My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

(12) NEWS FROM INTERACTION STUDIO

Our dear friend and SHARER , Virginia Lopez Grisolía, Head of Interaction Language Studio invites all SHARERS to take part in Interaction Training Programme for Teachers and Translators to be held at Avda L. N. Alem 424 PB Capital Federal.

The Language of Capital Markets I : Stocks and Bonds

Duration : 10 hours / 5 meetings

Days & Time : Wednesdays 10.30-12.30 - October 18th through November 15th

Tutors : Prof. Virginia Lopez Grisolía

Grammar I / II Teacher at J.V González -- Has been lecturing on Business English for the last 11 years: The Language of Capital Markets and General Business at Colegio de Traductores de Buenos Aires, Forex Club, Instituto Argentino de Mercado de Capitales. Holds a certificate in Academic Management from International House, Hastings,UK.

Prof. Sergio Rodriguez

Currently majoring in Grammar II JV Gonzalez - Ex-teacher at Universidad Católica de Salta and current teacher at Universidad del Salvador. Grammar II teacher at Liceo Cultural Británico.

Fees: $90

The Skills of Observing and Giving Feedback

This workshop is highly recommended to:

EFL Teachers' Co-ordinators and Directors of Studies.

EFL Teachers interested in becoming Co-ordinators and Directors of Studies.

Teacher Trainers

Methods " Profesores Adscriptos" and "Profesores Ayudantes"

Duration : 7 1/2 hours / 3 meetings

Days & Time : Mondays, November 13, 20 &27 from 18.30 to 21.00

Facilitator : Prof . Silvina Ioli

Assistant Director of Studies at Interaction Language Studio. Methods II Assistant Teacher at ISP J.V.González. Holds certificates in Teacher Training and in Academic Management from International House, Hastings, UK; in Academic Management and in Group Dynamics from Embassy Teacher Training, UK..

Fees : $80 (if paid before Nov 8th ) $85 (if paid after Nov 8th )

For further information, call 311-7220/312-1950 Office hours: 8 a.m.-7.30 p.m. or mail interaction@rmo.com.ar/interaction@movi.com.ar

(13) OPEN UP YOUR HEART TO INSTALL

A very dear SHARER from Campana, Marcela Pena, writes to us :

Dear Marina and Omar

I have been a SHARER ever since SHARE was a little baby. At that moment I thought it was a good idea. I have seen it grow and now I think it's been a GREAT idea to start it. I often find myself turning on the computer on a Sunday evening, just to see if your SHARE has already arrived. I have never met most of the other SHARERS. However, I feel them as "professional friends" that would always be at hand to answer questions and to offer help.

Then I thought that if we, teachers, really enjoy this shared space, our students would also like something similar. As a consequence I started my own way of starting a web among students at our institute. It is not called SHARE, it contains different material, more appealing to kids and teenagers, but it was born under the same sign, and has the same spirit. Let me call it a SHARE's young daughter.

I am including the following piece in our "newsletter" and I thought I could also share it with you. You may find it too long, but if you ever have enough space, do share it. I have used it to practise computing vocabulary, to write paragraphs based on this model, to teach word formation....

There it goes, in the attachment, from English Study Centre Campana, to our source of inspiration, MOTHER SHARE .

Lots of love, and thanks again

Marcela Pena

CS Rep: May I help you?

Customer: I have this new program . I´m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma'am?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CSRep: What programs are running ma'am?

Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CSRep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHERT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.

Can you turn them off, ma'am?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

CSRep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CSRep: Yes, it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes, I do. Is it completely installed?

CSRep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Ooops.. I have an error message already. What should I do?

CSRep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says "ERROR 412. PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS". What does that mean?

CSRep: Don't worry, ma'am, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms, it means you have to LOVE your own machine before you LOVE others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CSRep: Can you find the directory called "SELF ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it

CSRep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you

CSRep: You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the MYHEART directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, AND GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC. EXE from all directories, and empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey . My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playin g on my monitor right now, and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

CSRep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. one more thing before I go...

Customer:Yes?

CSRep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

(14) LISTA DE INTERÉS : EDUCACION DE ADULTOS

De. Marta Alicia Tenutto

Hola

Desde hace 20 años me desempeño como docente, en el sistema educativo. En los últimos 12 años lo hago como Profesora del nivel Superior (y en particular de las carreras de Formación docente), Asesora Pedagógica y Coordinadora de Jornadas de Capacitación . En los últimos años muchas se han escuchado voces en relación a las prácticas docentes y a la necesidad de reflexión sobre las mismas.

Considero debemos ser nosotros, los profesionales de la educación, los que iniciemos este camino ya que es el intercambio con los otros donde nuestro conocimiento se expande, se multiplica, se enriquece.

Los invito a formar parte de una lista de EDUCACIÓN DE ADULTOS en la cual compartiremos nuestras necesidades y nuestros saberes, nuestros deseos e inconvenientes. La idea es que se encuentre destinada a lo relacionada con:

- Formación docente

- Capacitación de docente y directivos

- Formación de adultos que se encuentren en el nivel medio de la enseñanza

- Otras temáticas que surjan, vinculadas a éstas (Animación Sociocultural,

competencias laborales, por ejemplo)

Creo que ENTRE TODOS podemos hacerlo.

Les dejo los datos y los espero:

Para darse de alta: entretodos-alta@elistas.net

Cualquier inconveniente tienen que escribir a mtenutto@ciudad.com.ar

Para enviar mensajes al grupo: entretodos@elistas.net

(15) AN HONOUR FOR "SHARE"

We are very proud to have receved this message from one of the biggest names in ELT in our country. With all respect and admiration we reproduce Nelly Shakespear´s words :

Dear Omar Villareal,

I look forward to reading SHARE, just received through E-mail & printed for leisurely perusing. Thank you so much for adding me to your list of "subscribers".

Regards, Nelly Shakespear

(16) TWO PEP UP MESSAGES

A dear SHARER from Tortuguitas, Pcia de Buenos Aires, Sandy Ostrowski writes to us :

Dear Omar and Marina,

Hi!! How are you? I have started receiving SHARE only recently and all this time. I have been wondering in what way I could share part of me with you ..... I don´t have a special talent at writing poems of my own.

I read the contribution by Cristina : "The Most Beautiful Heart" , my tears just fled!!!! These stories fill my heart with so much tenderness and love....they give me strength to continue each day even when things around might seemdark.

Here´s a poem with some words of courage which you might wish to include in SHARE:

However long the journey,

however rough the way,

however dark the midnight,

there´ll come a break of day.

Keep on with trust, smile as you go,

dawn may come sooner than you know.

And here´s another one I heard on the radio in Spanish. The original was written in English by William Edwards of Shrewsbury:

Count your garden by the flowers,

Never by the leaves that fall;

Count your joys by the golden hours,

Never when life´s worries call.

Count your nights by stars, not shadows,

Count your days by smiles, not tears;

And when life´s span so swiftly narrows,

Count your age by friends, not years.

Well, that´s all for now.... I´ll keep in touch. Love

Sandy

(17) TONGUE IN CHEEK

Our very dear friend, José Luís Garcia from Catamarca sends us these two hillarious stories :

Man´s Best Friend

A butcher is working, and is really busy. He notices a dog in his shop and shoos him away. Later, he notices the dog is back again. He walks over to the dog and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. The butcher takes the note, which reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please?" . The butcher looks, and low and behold, in the dog's mouth there is a 10-dollar bill. So the butcher takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag, and places it in the dog's mouth.

The butcher is very impressed, and since it's closing time, he decides to close up shop and follow the dog. So off he goes. The dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the crossing button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. It does, and he walks across the road, with the butcher following.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The

butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and sits on one of the seats to wait for the bus. Along comes a bus. The dog goes and looks at the number, notices it's the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher, by now

open-mouthed, follows him onto the bus.

The bus travels through town and out to the suburbs. Eventually the dog gets

up, moves to the front of the bus and, standing on his hind legs, pushes the

button to stop the bus. The dog gets off, groceries still in his mouth and the

butcher still following.

They walk down the road, and the dog approaches a house. He walks up the

path and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run and throws himself-whap! -- against the door. He goes back

down the path, takes another run, and throws himself-whap! -- against the

dooragain! There's no answer at the door, so the dog goes back down

the path, jumps up on a narrow wall and walks along the perimeter of the

garden. He gets to a window and bangs his head against it several times.

He walks back, jumps off the wall and waits at the door. The butcher watches as a big guy opens the door, and starts laying into the dog, really yelling at him.

The butcher runs up and stops the guy. "What the heck are you doing? This

dog is a genius. He could be on TV, for God's sake!" To which the guy responds, "Genius, my eye. This is the second time this week he's forgotten his key!"

The Klopman Diamond

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.

He asked her about it.

"This is the Klopman diamond," she said.

"It is beautiful, but there is a terrible curse that goes with it."

"Oh ! What's the curse?" the man asked.

"Mr. Klopman."

(18) BERNIEH´S CORNER

This week our dear friend Bernieh buck@mail.pccp.com.ar, feeds us with his own very personal account of the Congress in Necochea :

There´s no place like home .. but sometimes, you can enjoy wonderful experiences away from home.
I'm just back from Necochea, after three inspiring, exhilarating,
demanding and funny days at the 7th. Argentine Congress for Teachers and
Students of English, and this is just a short summary of my first
impressions about it.
We have been through all kind of experiences, from arriving in Necochea to
find that there was no reservation booked for us at our (supposedly)
destination hotel (this was solved in a couple of hours or so), to wishing
that this Congress would last a few more days, in order to continue
enjoying all the good things the organizers had prepared for us. These were
terrific (please, check your dictionary, here I mean very good, splendid,
awesome, astounding, etc.) days: imagine 400 or so teachers and students at large
in a beautiful seaside city, with a wonderful weather (where were the
renowned Necochea winds this weekend???), cooperative people, nice and
cheap food and drinks, a magnificent Casino building all for us, etcetera,
etcetera, etcetera...
As the only senior in the premises, I had to act as a kind of "unofficial
chaperon" for the group of young ladies residing at the same hostel as
me... that was funny, and they were a great bunch, eager to do a lot of
things, such as walking a hundred kilometers on the beach (only some of them),
attending tirelessly to every and each workshop or plenary available (most
of them), or revealing themselves as extraordinary performers (shake, jump,
turn, twist...) at the dance floor in the Congress Gala (ALL of them).
There was a lot of energy put into play at Necochea during the past three
days...
Speaking about performances, we also had the opportunity to attend to two
plays, "Wild Frank" (who was really wild) and "The Pretender" (ask the
girls about the baby-faced pretender... lots of hearts were broken that
night!). Both plays were really enjoyable, and a good example of
"English-into-action". Another non-scheduled performer was our well-known
Jamie Duncan: he proved he can be both the soul of the party at the Gala,
and a lecturer that can get a standing ovation from his audience at
the Congress. Gosh, there were fans asking for authographs at the end of
his plenary, and I bet he was the MPL (most photographed lecturer) in the
Congress!
Other UTN lecturers enjoyed a similar degree of success: Andrea Coviella, Susan Hillyard, and Fernando Armesto, passed their tests with flying
colours... it was very interesting to see them on stage, and watch the
different techniques they employed to simply "seduce" the audience. Non-UTN
lecturers were, of course, equally great: in particular, I enjoyed very
much Pierre Stapley's lecture on English catchphrases (he is a real funny
guy!), Daniel Resnik's presentation on the "New Language for the New
Millenium", and Mary Calvo de de la Vega´s presentation on "Reflective
Teaching".
Then there were the raffles, the photo-taking sessions, and the cheers,
whistles, chants, applauses, and all the noise of a Congress bubbling with
excitement, good vibes and friendship. We met a lot of people from every corner in the country (from Jujuy to Santa Cruz) , and made a few friends in-between. Behind the scenes, our dear Omar Villarreal and his wife Marina Kirac were organizing, pushing, announcing, making last-minute arrangements, and all the things needed to make things go as smoothly as possible. We arrived to the Closing Plenary to hear a wonderful and inspiring lecture by Efrain Davis on a
parallel of Dr. Jekyl & Mr Hyde and the teachers of English in Argentina.
In his address to the Congress after the Closing Plenary , Omar Villarreal made some important announcements but I´ll leave that to him in his next issue of SHARE.

So, enough for now... I must get some SLEEP.

Cheers,
Bernieh."

Well, our dear Bernieh was wrong for once : there won´t be any announcement in this issue of SHARE. Instead a special edition of SHARE NEWS (that´ll be nunber 3) will be issued mid-week with a report on the the 7th Congress. We thought it was better to provide you with a very solid SHARE for the weekend and give you the opportunity to "peep into" the 7th Congress on Wednesday or Thursday or simply "delete".

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Again it´s time to say goodbye. This will be a very "personal" goodbye. First, let me reproduce a mail from Maria Patricia Raimondi ilisten@teletel.com.ar from
Curuzu Cuatia, Corrientes :

Dear Omar and Marina ,
I just want to say that I am one of your SHARERS and that we really enjoy your magazine at our institute. What's more ,we often use material from SHARE in our lessons . I have attended many many of your workshops ,seminars and talks and I never GET TIRED OF

YOU !!!!! I can still remember many of your stories ... But I 've got one question ..You always mention Marina ..There's always something about her ....at the very start of your talk...... . in the middle ..or at the end .....in a story ...in a song ....or as a part of an anecdote . .I really admire the way you A DMIRE and LOVE her !

Congratulations to both of you !!!

Maria Patricia Raimondi - Instituto Listen & Learn

Second, I want to publicly thank my wife because in the hard times before the

Congress when criticism, outright attacks and direct threats mounted she knew how to show me that she believed in me and kept me and the Congress going. The

huge success of the Congress proved her right once again.

Omar Villarreal

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEK !!

Marina and Omar

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